Dirt Rocker

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Posts by Dirt Rocker

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  3

  The top 18 reasons why chocolate is better than sex:

  by Dirt Rocker in

  1. social
  2. humour

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  this is mostly for the ladies, but guys will enjoy it too!

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  Dirt Rocker

  14) Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.

  I personally like this one... No reason in particular...
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  15

  I'm not drunk!!!

  by Dirt Rocker in

  1. social
  2. humour

  i'm not drunk!

  i had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar and my .

  wife insisted i empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else... .

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  Dirt Rocker

  Thanks guys! I thought it was pretty funny myself!
• 
  3

  The top 18 reasons why chocolate is better than sex:

  by Dirt Rocker in

  1. social
  2. humour

  .

  this is mostly for the ladies, but guys will enjoy it too!

  .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Dirt Rocker

  This is mostly for the ladies, but guys will enjoy it too!

  1) With chocolate size doesn't matter; its always good.

  2) When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.

  3) You are never too young or too old for chocolate.

  4) You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.

  5) Good chocolate is easy to find.

  6) You can have chocolate at any time of the month.

  7) Chocolate can't get you pregnant.

  8) With chocolate there's no need to fake it.

  9) You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.

  10) You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting slapped in the face.

  11) You can have chocolate on top of your desk during working hours without upsetting your coworkers.

  12) The word commitment doesn't scare off chocolate.

  13) You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.

  14) Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.

  15) "If you love me, you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.

  16) You can get chocolate.

  17) If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.

  18) You can have chocolate in front of your mother.
• 
  15

  I'm not drunk!!!

  by Dirt Rocker in

  1. social
  2. humour

  i'm not drunk!

  i had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar and my .

  wife insisted i empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else... .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Dirt Rocker

  I'm Not Drunk!!

  I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar and my
  wife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else...
  After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finally
  proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle
  and poured the contents down the sink
  with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

  Then, I withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it,
  with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

  I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle
  and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank.

  I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink
  and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank.

  I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it,
  and threw the rest down the glass.

  I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle.

  Then, I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.

  When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand,
  counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other,
  which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again,
  and finally I had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank.

  I'm not under the affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am.
  I'm not half as thunk as you might drink.
  I fool so feelish I don't know who is me,
  and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.
  I'm not drunk you shilly sit!
  
• 
  190

  All Secret Santa Paricipants sign in here please!

  by Gadget in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the details of who to send a gift to will be getting pm'd to you all either friday afternoon or saturday morning!

  according to the information i've found online the last posting day for standard parcels is dec 11th for usa and december 15th for the uk/europe, so you should all have plenty of time to select and send a gift, although sending sooner rather than later is prefered.

  can everyone taking part post on this thread what things they like, what their interests are etc so that the person who is buying a gift for you has some idea what to get you.

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  Dirt Rocker

  Quick question, but how do you 'get in' to do this..? I want to..
• 
  40

  She really wanted a boyfriend. But eight...?

  by Mecurious? in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse
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  Dirt Rocker

  Thanks avishai...

  I don't remember this thank god, but I guess he had tried to move on to me and my sister when we were really little too. I didn't know all of this about my mom and aunts until just recently. She says she tried to tell me a few years ago, but I don't remember. He was a pastor/missionary as well.
• 
  40

  She really wanted a boyfriend. But eight...?

  by Mecurious? in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse
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  Dirt Rocker

  What I think is sick is when child molesters get jobs around children where they can be with them alone and do whatever they want and no one will know forever until the child tells someone. Which that usually deosn't happen either because they will threaten the child so they are scared.

  My mom and her 3 sisters were sexualy molested by their father when they were children and nothing happened to him for it. That is until he got cayght doing it after 7 years to my cousin. And even then he was only in prison for 7 years.
• 
  40

  She really wanted a boyfriend. But eight...?

  by Mecurious? in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse
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  Dirt Rocker

  That's disgusting! I think she needs to be taken to a mental institution instead...
• 
  27

  Kristi may not make it through surgery.

  by Frannie Banannie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i just got the news a little while ago.

  kristi, the ms patient i've been taking care of went to the er this morning with a perforated colon and peritonitis....her bp was waaaay down and the docs have her in surgery right now, but they've told her parents it doesn't look good for kristi to make it thru this.. i was with her yesterday.

  she had started the morning throwing up and her mom was there because kristi was impacted and she was trying to remedy the situation.

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  Dirt Rocker

  That's horrible! Does she have any kids? That would be even worse... How do people get MS? Is it in your genes?
• 
  27

  Kristi may not make it through surgery.

  by Frannie Banannie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i just got the news a little while ago.

  kristi, the ms patient i've been taking care of went to the er this morning with a perforated colon and peritonitis....her bp was waaaay down and the docs have her in surgery right now, but they've told her parents it doesn't look good for kristi to make it thru this.. i was with her yesterday.

  she had started the morning throwing up and her mom was there because kristi was impacted and she was trying to remedy the situation.

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  Dirt Rocker

  How old is she? I have an old friend whose mom has MS..